I’m treating myself to my FBOTY (First Beer of the Year) in celebration of the completion of the project I’ve been obsessed with for the last week or so: Overseeing a coordinated conspiracy to send a wonderful lady on the trip of her life. Myrna has worked at The Hospital for 36 years, and has been a friend and 2nd mother to many people over the course of those years. Knowing I had no living parents or grandparents, she “adopted” me and, more importantly, my girls quite a while ago. My daughters have gotten countless Christmas presents, homemade Easter baskets and plates of cookies from “Grandy.”
We’ve known for weeks she was retiring. Everyone kept saying, “We should do something.” But nothing materialized. Finally last week, I noticed that everyone wanted to do “something,” but no one was actually doing “anything.” And I wasn’t gonna let this one get by. So I said, “Gimme the damned ball.”
Being the proper old-school geek that I am, I set up a special website, a special email and a custom Paypal donation button, and began getting the word out. Yada, yada, yada, pass it on.
During the fundraising part of the scheme, I made one crucial decision: No one would know how much anyone else gave. No comparing notes. No special recognition. This is about Myrna, not a grab for the spotlight.
And then an amazing thing happened… They say your true character is who you are when no one is watching. As it turns out, your true character also shows when you give money anonymously.
Suddenly, the people who are so eager to flout their material possessions, their oh-so-caring and open-minded political views, where they live and what they drive, and especially their “altruism” and “philanthropy” (the kind of philanthropy Thoreau writes about in Walden)… those people were nowhere to be found, or were tossing in token amounts to avoid looking like complete assholes. If they couldn’t reap the recognition, they weren’t interested.
I thought we would never make our goal. I started getting frustrated. But I (mostly) kept it to myself. I decided if they were going to be that selfish, I’d cover the cost myself and not tell a soul. I was determined this was gonna happen for Myrna.
Then, slowly, quietly, people began passing by and slipping me checks and twenties, and hundred-dollar bills. Or giving thru the Paypal link. Or calling me up and saying, “What’s your address? I’m mailing you some money.” The people you’d never expect. The people who go about their business and don’t make a big show of their living or their giving. It was as if knowing they were free to give from the heart liberated them somehow. I believe JC said something about those who “do their alms before men” and how “they have their reward.” Guess he had a point.
Today, on Myrna’s last day, we presented her with her gift, her trip. Not only that, we had hundreds of dollars in cash we gave her for shopping money where we’d run over our goal. I finally had to start turning people away when they (quietly) approached me with money. And there were so many who said, “If we don’t have enough, let me know and I’ll give more.”
And so I’m reminded again of what I saw so poignantly after Katrina down here- there are the noisy few who talk so loud and pat each other on the back so fervently that they come to actually believe they know better and either speak for everyone else or purport to tell them how to think.
They’re big on redistribution of income, because they’ve never really been poor and think that’s the “philanthropic” thing to do. They think Big Brother should confiscate wealth in the name of society, when all that really happens is that the money gets sapped up by greedy beaurocratic SOBs and the buddies they arrange contracts with, and it never accomplishes a thing towards helping the people who really need help.
When it comes right down to it, whether with catastrophic hurricaines or simple retirement gifts, when the Uncle Sams and FEMAs and posturing loudmouths are nowhere to be found, it’s the quiet, caring majority who step forward, give selflessly and take care of their fellow man, and prove to be the true salvation of society.